To Adam!
by DerekandReidSlashFan
Summary: After a tough case Adam goes to a bar only to find his team there and he finds out what his team really thinks about him... kinda against, but nothing major Mac/Adam paring if you don't like don't read.


**Author:** NickandGregNumberOneSlashFan

**A/N:** I do not own any CSI: NY Characters no beta this time all mistakes are mine.

**Description:** After a tough case Adam goes to a bar only to find his team there and he finds out what his team really thinks about him... kinda against, but nothing major Mac/Adam paring if you don't like don't read.

Adam sat in apartment exhausted from today's case. They were working around the clock to find a missing 10 year old girl, but by the time they found her it was already too late. He stared at his blank TV blinking he sighed then got up. He walked around his apartment for a while until he stopped he turned grabbed his apartment keys and headed out. He walked along the streets as the cool air ravaged his skin as he blinked back his tears. Adam arrived shortly after he left his apartment to the nearest bar he walked in and sat down at the bar in front of the bartender he was unaware of the presence behind him as the bartender walked up to him with a smile.

"What will it be?" he asked Adam looked up at him gave him a weak smile and spoke.

"A beer please" the bartender nodded and walked away seconds later he was back with a beer.

"You know you should be celebrating with them" he said pointing behind him.

Adam turned only to see his team sitting behind him he turned and shook his head. He picked up his beer and took a sip.

"Nah they're having fun with out me who am I to interrupt?" Adam said and asked the bartender shook his head and walked off.

As Adam sipped his beer Stella suddenly spoke up making him stop in wonder.

"Hey guys wait! I would like to make this a toast" Stella said they all looked at her in confusion.

"A toast? To what?" Danny asked confused.

"Not to what! to who!" Stella stated making them even more confused.

"Ok! To who then?" Lindsey asked.

"I would like to make a toast to Adam!" Stella announced unaware that Adam was behind her choking on his beer. He listened more carefully this time.

"To Adam? Why?" Flack asked curiously

"Because without Adam we would not have captured the bad guy today! Hell without Adam we would not have captured half the criminals we have now. We captured more criminals now then we did in the past and it was because of Adam" Stella stated they all looked at her in awe Mac smiled with pride and spoke.

"She's right! Adam has help put more criminals behind bars then all of us put together. He works harder then any of us combined! Without him there _is_ no us so to Adam" Mac said raising his glass Danny spoke next.

"Yeah! Your right if it wasn't for him I would probably be dead right now and Lindsey would be without a husband and Lucy without a father so here's to Adam" Danny said raising his glass

"To Adam! The heart of the team" Lindsey said Hawkes and Flack nodded in agreement they downed their drinks as Lindsey got up.

She walked up to the bartender and ordered more rounds he nodded, but just before he left he pointed to his left without letting anyone, but her see. She looked over to were he was pointing only to see Adam staring in front of him she gasped in shock she new he heard everything so she smiled and walked over to him placing a hand on his he turned with a small weak smile.

"Hey Linds!" Adam greeted she could tell his voice was cracking she pulled him off the stool.

"Come on Adam come join us!" Lindsey said softly she told the bartender to bring the drinks to the table he nodded and smiled. "hey guys look who's here" they turned and saw Lindsey leading Adam to the table they we're shocked to say the least.

"Hey Adam!" Hawkes greeted with a smile Adam smiled back.

"He was here the whole time and I do believe he heard everything we said" Lindsey said with pride.

"Good! Because nothing we said wasn't true" Mac stated happily Adam looked around at his friends who thought so much of him.

"Y-you really think that of me?" he asked finally they all nodded. Adam sighed and finally let a sob break free and allowed his tears to fall.

"Adam? What's wrong? I thought you would be happy!" Stella said worriedly.

"I am glad you guys think so much of me, but it's just..." Adam paused taking a breath to allow himself to calm down.

"It's just what?" Flack asked.

"It's just I feel I could have done more! I feel I could have done more to find her then maybe she would still be alive" Adam said sadly.

"Adam look at me" Mac demanded Adam looked up and into his eyes "There was nothing you could have done. What we see on a daily bases we all know that sometimes no matter what we have and no matter what we do we cannot save everyone. You did the best you could! It was _you_ that gave us our lead, it was _you_ that led us to the girl and it was _you_ that captured that bastard who did that to her because of _you_ we were able to give closure to the family, you didn't give up, you stuck by it and saw it to the very end and I couldn't be more proud of you for it" Mac stated with pride Adam sighed and looked down.

"Adam? Are you sure your ok?" Flack asked concerned Adam looked up at him then to the others and spoke softly

"Do you know why I became a DNA Tech?" Adam asked they shook they're heads. "It was because when I was 10 years old my little sister went missing she was 5 at the time I was only 5 years older then her and I was suppose to be her protector so after she went missing the police came to the house my father didn't give a shit and well my mother didn't give up! She kept looking and looking until my father had, had enough and told her to quite, but she refused and he killed her for it. I called 911, but before they came to arrest him he came at me with a kitchen knife. he beat me before he took the knife to my throat"

Adam paused as he pulled his collar down allowing them to see the scar on his neck they gasped in shock and horror as he continued

"after he beat me he cut me fast and hard, when the police finally came they arrested him then rushed me to the ER only to find shortly after that he killed my little sister, but not before he raped her. Every time I close my eyes I can still see the haunted look in my mother's eyes as she laid in her own pool of blood and not a day goes by that I don't think I could have done something I kept thinking that maybe if I had gotten brave and spoke to the police in the first place then maybe they both would still be alive. I still blame myself for it and that case that little girl reminded me of my sister! she reminded me of the heartache I suffered growing up knowing I could have done something and that's why I wouldn't give up until I found that little girl" Adam said as he sobbed into his hands Stella whipped her own tears and pulled him into a hug.

"Oh Adam I am so sorry you had to suffer and I'm sorry that this case reminded you of your sister, but your wrong there was nothing you could have done. Even if you did go to the police he would have made up a story and then he still would have continued to abuse you, your sister and your mother no matter what and even then he still would have killed her, but the important thing is that they arrested him saved your life and now your here with us your true family that cares and loves you" Stella said he pulled back from the hug and smiled a first real smiled tonight. Then his smile faltered a little.

"Adam?" Hawkes asked.

"My father called earlier today! His execution is a month away and he said he wanted to make admins with me and I was thinking of going to see him and just listen to what he had to say, but I...I don't want to go alone I wanted to ask if one of you would go with me, but if I have to I will go by myself" Adam said sheepishly.

"You don't have to go alone Adam! I will go with you" Mac said fondly.

Adam looked at him in the eyes and could see something in them, but he couldn't describe it, he couldn't put his finger on it. It was a feeling that he definitely didn't want to go. He nodded with a smile as they talked into the night.

**a month later...**

Adam walked into the Arizona state penitentiary as one of the officers led him down to the execution chambers where they sat him among others who sat waiting. Mac sat next to Adam he subconsciously took his hand into his own as he looked directly at him he could see the comforting smile plastered on his face as he smiled back. Adam had met his father before hand as he listened to the man speak and asked for his forgiveness for everything he had done, but no matter what had happened in his past he just could not find it in his heart to be cold so he forgave him then walked off. And now here they sat watching as they brought the man out, they laid him on the slap strapping him down they placed the needle into his arm and began pumping the liquid. Finally after what seemed like hours they pronounced him dead they cleared the area as Mac led Adam out. When they found there way to the car Mac stopped him in his tracks he could see the tears once again.

"Are you ok?" Mac asked concerned. Adam nodded breathing deeply and releasing it.

"Yeah! For the first time in a long time I've never felt better" Adam answered honestly.

Mac looked at him and smiled he pulled Adam close to him and kissed him soundly. He was relieved that Adam didn't pull away he was shocked at first then responded to the kiss. The need for air forced them apart as they both panted.

"Mac? I-I don't know what to say" Adam said.

"Adam! I have loved you since I first met you and I will always be here for you" Mac said Adam nodded.

"Yeah I feel the same way" Adam stated happily.

Mac smiled as he kissed him once more then they got into the car and drove off towards the airport were they flew home leaving the past behind them.

End.

**Tell me what you think.**


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